Being inspired to change your life from reading a book isn't that unusual. There are plenty of self-help, coaching and other generally inspirational books out there (or magazine articles for that matter) that can appeal to one's sense of excitement at starting afresh. Get your finances in order! Find a job that you love! Get fit! Stop eating crap!
My inspiration came from an unlikely (and rather embarrassing) source: a rather trashy 'chick - lit' novel by Irish author Cathy Kelly. She's one of those authors that churns out novels where there are several women with different issues with their jobs/partners/families who make a big change to their lives. Each of the character's stories come together towards the end of the book. Everyone lives happily ever after in their reinvented lives.
I borrowed the book from the library years ago and didn't realise at the time that a seed had been planted. You see, one of the main characters was doing the manic full-time work with two young children in childcare thing. It comes to a head and she quits her job to try being a stay at home mum. She loves it, but towards the end of the novel gets a part-time job at a rather lovely day spa. Happy in work-life balance land.
I would read this novel on my commute home from work each night. I only worked 3.5 days a week, but my youngest child hated being away from me at childcare, and the drop-off and pick-up from said childcare was harrowing on each of these days. And 3.5 days felt like 4 days, which at times felt full-time. I was over it!
My bus home would take me past the local sessional kinder. I looked jealously at the Mums (and the odd Dad) with their kids at the park next door. I assumed they must all be stay-at-home parents as the sessional kinder hours were so bizarre that holding down a standard hours job would be impossible!
I realised that I longed to pull both kids out of childcare and send the oldest to a sessional kinder. So I came up with a plan to do just that! It took a lot of planning (and wangling to actually get my son into the kinder program!!) but I did it.
And I also got lucky in two ways. I fell pregnant with my third child, and my work made me redundant! I felt like I'd won the lottery as I'd already decided to leave anyway.
My first year as a proper stay-at-home Mum is just over. The oldest is now at school and the younger two hang out with me. I've joined a playgroup and we have a pretty good life. I'm fortunate to still have some redundancy money left over plus we are trying to live more frugally. I'll probably have to get a job at some stage before the girls start school, but am planning an extra frugal next 12 months to delay this for as long as possible.
Why I love my playgroup
The baby was cranky, the 2 year old kept having melt-downs for no reason. I eventually realised that the 2 year old was soaking wet and had been to bed without her night nappy - so she'd had a bad night's sleep (the 5 year old had reported nightmares) and was tired and wet and unhappy.
I was extremely unhappy to find the bed, including pillow and doona to be soaked in wee. Cue cranky text message to the partner who had forgotten to put the nappy on. I really wasn't looking forward to a day of washing on top of dealing with feral children.
Playgroup was at 10.30am and I probably wouldn't have gone if I wasn't the only key holder going. If I didn't go, no-one could get in! So I shoved the feral kids in the car and we got there just in time.
And it was great. Despite the baby being clingy, the 2 year old and I had a great time "playing with our friends". I could bitch and moan and debrief and eat cake and drink coffee and offload the baby for cuddles and the day didn't seem so bad anymore. By the end I was laughing and by the time the partner called to apologise for the nappy incident I was happy enough to laugh it off and accept his apology.
And that's what I love about this group of women who randomly came together. They help each other and listen and give opinions but never judge. If you're having a bad day they'll go out of their way to help you, and you'll do the same for them when they need it. And they also bake great cake!
I was extremely unhappy to find the bed, including pillow and doona to be soaked in wee. Cue cranky text message to the partner who had forgotten to put the nappy on. I really wasn't looking forward to a day of washing on top of dealing with feral children.
Playgroup was at 10.30am and I probably wouldn't have gone if I wasn't the only key holder going. If I didn't go, no-one could get in! So I shoved the feral kids in the car and we got there just in time.
And it was great. Despite the baby being clingy, the 2 year old and I had a great time "playing with our friends". I could bitch and moan and debrief and eat cake and drink coffee and offload the baby for cuddles and the day didn't seem so bad anymore. By the end I was laughing and by the time the partner called to apologise for the nappy incident I was happy enough to laugh it off and accept his apology.
And that's what I love about this group of women who randomly came together. They help each other and listen and give opinions but never judge. If you're having a bad day they'll go out of their way to help you, and you'll do the same for them when they need it. And they also bake great cake!
The simplification project
2012 is my year of simplification - and it all started last year. Following a rather traumatic miscarriage in late 2011 I went downhill emotionally without even realising it. Being my third miscarriage, and already being blessed with a beautiful boy, I thought I was fine. I'd been through it before, and at least I had Lewis. I thought I was more resilient, I thought I could just pretend it didn't happen and move on. I plunged back into work, increasing my days (thinking there was no point staying part time if I wasn't going to have another baby). I grew more and more distant from my partner. I didn't want him to touch me. The thought of sex repulsed me. I was just going through the motions, as they say.
Months later, when I started taking long lunch breaks and spending them sobbing for 'no reason', I finally decided to seek some help. A friend had recommended a her counsellor, and as soon as I met him I realised why. I sobbed my way through my first appointment, discovering that I couldn't talk about my lost baby without crying. It became clear that I hadn't grieved properly, and needed to work out a way to do this.
It also became clear that I needed to take some control over my fertility 'issues'. Being in the public system, I had been told that I wasn't eligible for investigations into the multiple miscarriages because it wasn't "three in a row"; I'd had a "live birth". Not once did any of the doctors over my four or five times in hospital emergency (or at my GP later on) mention that investigations could be done by a GP.
My counsellor had suggested seeing a fertility specialist naturopath. I'll admit I was skeptical - I didn't understand what a naturopath could possibly do - but given I trusted my counsellor went on his recommendation. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done (well, after going to the counsellor in the first place). She was amazing. She took my full pregnancy history, asked about my diet and also asked about what investigations I had had done. She was astonished to hear I had never had any investigations, and said I should have come to see her after miscarriage number one.
She recommended the following:
And that brings me back to my year of simplification. Changing my diet and drinking habits was the first big change. The three day caffeine withdrawal headache was worth it though - I now enjoy not relying on my morning coffee to stop the headaches, and later in the day wake me up. The health kick has been good for both me and my partner. We have both lost weight due to eating more healthily and increasing our amount of exercise. We have sustained this for 4 months now and I don't think we'll ever go back to our slovenly lifestyle!
The next big simplification was changing jobs. My job was very stressful with lots of responsibility. I often needed to check emails on my days off, go in sometimes on my days off and I even had to go in when I was still unwell after the miscarriage. My boss and others kept telling me to look after myself, but still expected the job to get done and the place not to fall apart. I decided a new job was needed that was stress free. I realised this meant taking a huge pay cut, but figured I just spend as much as I earn and that I would survive with less money.
Post-script: I wrote this post in 2012 and it was too raw to publish at the time. My health kick paid off and I became pregnant soon after I wrote this with Ginger who is now 2. I now also have a third child Darcy who is 8 months old - no trouble conceiving that time either. I can't say that the health kick continued, but I definitely drink less these days and try to stay healthy.
Months later, when I started taking long lunch breaks and spending them sobbing for 'no reason', I finally decided to seek some help. A friend had recommended a her counsellor, and as soon as I met him I realised why. I sobbed my way through my first appointment, discovering that I couldn't talk about my lost baby without crying. It became clear that I hadn't grieved properly, and needed to work out a way to do this.
It also became clear that I needed to take some control over my fertility 'issues'. Being in the public system, I had been told that I wasn't eligible for investigations into the multiple miscarriages because it wasn't "three in a row"; I'd had a "live birth". Not once did any of the doctors over my four or five times in hospital emergency (or at my GP later on) mention that investigations could be done by a GP.
My counsellor had suggested seeing a fertility specialist naturopath. I'll admit I was skeptical - I didn't understand what a naturopath could possibly do - but given I trusted my counsellor went on his recommendation. It turned out to be the best thing I've ever done (well, after going to the counsellor in the first place). She was amazing. She took my full pregnancy history, asked about my diet and also asked about what investigations I had had done. She was astonished to hear I had never had any investigations, and said I should have come to see her after miscarriage number one.
She recommended the following:
- Changing GPs to an obstetrics specialist (which I have now done).
- Getting this new GP to run all the relevant tests (she wrote a letter for the GP; and the GP happily obliged)
- Modifying my (fairly healthy) diet slightly by cutting out coffee, cutting down alcohol to 2 glasses a week (from my usual 1/2 bottle a night!), adding nuts and cutting out sweets.
- Taking supplements (CoQ10, Pregnancy multivitamin, fish oil)
- Reducing stress
And that brings me back to my year of simplification. Changing my diet and drinking habits was the first big change. The three day caffeine withdrawal headache was worth it though - I now enjoy not relying on my morning coffee to stop the headaches, and later in the day wake me up. The health kick has been good for both me and my partner. We have both lost weight due to eating more healthily and increasing our amount of exercise. We have sustained this for 4 months now and I don't think we'll ever go back to our slovenly lifestyle!
The next big simplification was changing jobs. My job was very stressful with lots of responsibility. I often needed to check emails on my days off, go in sometimes on my days off and I even had to go in when I was still unwell after the miscarriage. My boss and others kept telling me to look after myself, but still expected the job to get done and the place not to fall apart. I decided a new job was needed that was stress free. I realised this meant taking a huge pay cut, but figured I just spend as much as I earn and that I would survive with less money.
Post-script: I wrote this post in 2012 and it was too raw to publish at the time. My health kick paid off and I became pregnant soon after I wrote this with Ginger who is now 2. I now also have a third child Darcy who is 8 months old - no trouble conceiving that time either. I can't say that the health kick continued, but I definitely drink less these days and try to stay healthy.
The holiday sham and a toast to single parents
I often wonder if holidays are worth it. Tonight is a prime example. We are at the lovely family beach house on a 40 degree day. It's just me and the 3 kids. It started out well with beach time with some friends. It went slowly down hill from 3pm. It seems the baby doesn't like the heat (and may be unwell), the 2 year old has school sores as well as a very sore foot due to wearing her thongs incorrectly (blisters - eww!) and the 5 year old is just plain tired after a week of socialising (but best on ground by far).
It just took me literally 2.5 hours to get the baby and 2 year old to sleep. Dinner was dolmades and some cucumber in front of a movie as the baby started whinging early on. I had plans for a nice healthy dinner but it's now 11.15pm and I've only just sat down. Maybe tomorrow night.
I feel sorry for the kids to an extent. They are out of routine, over tired and possibly unwell. But I just want some time to myself! I'm always so tired as I stay up late to get some precious reading/computer time after they are in bed. And bed often isn't until 10pm when we are on holidays, but they still wake up super early!
Anyway, it's times like these, when the baby is screaming hysterically and the 2 year old is whinging, that I feel for single parents. It must be oh so very hard. No sleep ins! No-one to handball to.
Cheers to you all.
It just took me literally 2.5 hours to get the baby and 2 year old to sleep. Dinner was dolmades and some cucumber in front of a movie as the baby started whinging early on. I had plans for a nice healthy dinner but it's now 11.15pm and I've only just sat down. Maybe tomorrow night.
I feel sorry for the kids to an extent. They are out of routine, over tired and possibly unwell. But I just want some time to myself! I'm always so tired as I stay up late to get some precious reading/computer time after they are in bed. And bed often isn't until 10pm when we are on holidays, but they still wake up super early!
Anyway, it's times like these, when the baby is screaming hysterically and the 2 year old is whinging, that I feel for single parents. It must be oh so very hard. No sleep ins! No-one to handball to.
Cheers to you all.
A long time between posts
Wow - a really really long time between posts! 15 months to be precise. I have now have a gorgeous daughter named Ginger. She is about 14 months old now and is just ace. I love her to bits. Lewis is nearly 4 years old now too. They are both adorable and love each other to bits. I really am quite blessed.
I've just been reading back through posts from 2012 - and particularly my posts about being pregnant. Sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage (a rather horrific one too) at 12 weeks. Cue spiral into depression for me, but thankfully a few months later I got some counselling and then saw a fertility naturopath. Both the counsellor and naturopath were amazing. I cleaned up my life (quit stressful job) and diet (no coffee, booze etc) and 4 months later once we started trying again, got pregnant first attempt. And now we have the two.
I don't do pregnancy well and swore that I wouldn't consider having any more children after Ginger was out. However, as soon as she appeared I became super clucky and decided that we needed three! My partner agreed at the time and I have been happily going along (saving baby clothes etc) thinking there would eventually be another little bub in our brood.
However, the partner dropped the bombshell last week that he is done. He doesn't think he could cope with another baby. I'm still at a bit of a loss as to what to do - I'm not 100% sure that I do or don't want another... I agree it gets easier as they get older, but I also love that newborn stage.
Then there is the whole practicality of three children. We'd have to rethink car, future house size, the ability to travel easily. All do-able but probably harder with three kids.
Anyway, I still don't know what I really think. I think originally I was just wanting another baby so I could get another year off work! But I've now worked out a way to take next year off work anyway, so now can focus on what I really want...
I'll keep you posted!
I've just been reading back through posts from 2012 - and particularly my posts about being pregnant. Sadly that pregnancy ended in a miscarriage (a rather horrific one too) at 12 weeks. Cue spiral into depression for me, but thankfully a few months later I got some counselling and then saw a fertility naturopath. Both the counsellor and naturopath were amazing. I cleaned up my life (quit stressful job) and diet (no coffee, booze etc) and 4 months later once we started trying again, got pregnant first attempt. And now we have the two.
I don't do pregnancy well and swore that I wouldn't consider having any more children after Ginger was out. However, as soon as she appeared I became super clucky and decided that we needed three! My partner agreed at the time and I have been happily going along (saving baby clothes etc) thinking there would eventually be another little bub in our brood.
However, the partner dropped the bombshell last week that he is done. He doesn't think he could cope with another baby. I'm still at a bit of a loss as to what to do - I'm not 100% sure that I do or don't want another... I agree it gets easier as they get older, but I also love that newborn stage.
Then there is the whole practicality of three children. We'd have to rethink car, future house size, the ability to travel easily. All do-able but probably harder with three kids.
Anyway, I still don't know what I really think. I think originally I was just wanting another baby so I could get another year off work! But I've now worked out a way to take next year off work anyway, so now can focus on what I really want...
I'll keep you posted!
Starting from scratch? This is what you really need
My friend Amy is due on the same day as me with her first child. She's been asking me for advice on what you really need to get for a baby. So here is my low-down.
Pram
I once read an article about a woman who didn't have a pram and just carried her baby till it walked. She obviously didn't have a caesar or a really big baby! Here are my suggestions.
If someone offers to buy you a pram, get one new. But if money is tight, find one you like by testing them out at Baby Bunting, then order online from the USA (loads cheaper) or get one on eBay.
Pram
I once read an article about a woman who didn't have a pram and just carried her baby till it walked. She obviously didn't have a caesar or a really big baby! Here are my suggestions.
If someone offers to buy you a pram, get one new. But if money is tight, find one you like by testing them out at Baby Bunting, then order online from the USA (loads cheaper) or get one on eBay.
Smaller, narrower popular prams:
Baby jogger city mini GT (the GT has the pump up tyres; previous models don't)
Bigger prams:
The pram I bought second hand and love is a Swallow Beema – it’s bigger but I love it! Easy to push and has a huge basket. In its day it was voted Choice pram of the year. I got a used one on Ebay for $100 and it came with a bassinet as well as a skateboard for toddlers! Bargain.
According to the product review sites, Phil and Teds are a bit dodgy these days – but older versions on Ebay would be fine.
In
terms of planning a pram purchase for a second seat/baby, I wouldn’t
worry about it… My tip is that by the time the second baby comes along
you’ll be wanting a new pram anyway! And it also depends on the spacing
of your kids. If they
are close together you’ll need a 2 seater pram, but if not you could
get by with a skateboard attachment.
Cot
Try to get one second hand on eBay or Freecycle or Gumtree. Or ask friends. They only get used for a few years, so there are normally lots around if you ask!
Babies can go straight into a cot rather than a bassinet, however you'll need to sleep in the same room as the baby for the first 3-6 months (to reduce the SIDS risk), so it depends on how much room you have in your room, or if you have a bed in the baby's room. You can buy bassinets, but as they only get used for 3-6 months, most people just borrow them off friends. Ask around. Someone probably has one in the shed.
You'll need a couple of mattress protectors and 2-3 changes of cot sheets. If they don't wee through stuff they spew everywhere!!!
It's handy to have a portacot too, but like bassinets there are far too many in the world, and you can probably get one on Freecycle or by asking around. I've been offered several over the last year! You can also buy quite cheap ones at Target/Kmart. Traditional portacots are quite heavy and bulky, but are okay for having in the boot or under the bed.
If you want to lash out and get a good small fold up portacot for interstate/overseas travel, the BabyBjorn one is great. But expensive!
Clothes
You will be given A LOT of clothing as gifts, so don't buy too much. You'll probably also be given a lot of hand-me-downs. You'll want to buy a few nice new things, but try not to go overboard! Here are some suggestions on what you need in the first 6 months.
Big babies can go straight into '000' outfits. If you have a small baby you might need '0000' suits for a few weeks, but they'll be in '000' before you know it! So my tip is to not buy any '0000' outfits as you might not need them. If you do, ask around. Your friends are bound to have some you can borrow.
You'll need at least 6 '000' outfits - onesies are best for the start. You might also like a few leggings/top sets. They are easier to change than onesies.
You'll also need about 6 singlets (start with '000"), some socks, and you might want to get a few leggings and tops too.
Things you might not think of
- Wraps/swaddles - basically big squares of cloth (a bit of stretch is good) to wrap your baby up tight. There are many specifically designed swaddles, but I reckon the cheap wraps are fine.
- Spew rags (traditional cloth nappy squares, from Kmart, work well for this)
Things you don't really need to buy:
- Change table - you can just get a plastic change mat (around $30) and put it on a chest of drawer, table or on a bed.
- Nappy bag - just get a portable changing mat or similar with a small bag/green bag
- Baby monitor- not really
necessary if your place is small; you'll hear the baby! But get one if
it makes you sleep better once you are in separate rooms (after 3-6
months). I can recommend the Oricom 500. Was worth spending the extra money (although I got it quite cheap on sale at Baby Bunting). All my friends bought cheap ones which they ended up replacing as they broke.
Frugality is fun!
Well, I finally took the plunge and quit my stressful job. Problem is, it was also high paid! My new job is fantastic - interesting, not too much responsibility, nice people. The only catch is the pay! It's not terrible, but it has made me and my partner re-assess our finances. I'm pleased to report that so far watching the budget is going well. As my partner commented last week, when I was getting excited about a family trip to a suburban Savers store, "who knew frugality could be so much fun!?".
The internet is fabulous if you plan to start being dollars savvy. From budgeting, to tips on saving money, to meal planning to savings plans - you'll find a website or blog to inspire and guide you on you money saving journey.
The first thing I started researching was meal planning and feeding the family on a budget. I have never planned meals and I'm a self-confessed supermarket junkie. I live 5 minutes from a shopping centre and end up at there most days. I go for one or two things I 'need' for dinner, then return home with a pram-basket full of goodies - many of which end up at the back of the cupboard, fridge or freezer, slowly going out of date.
So step 1 was meal planning - and consequently only buying what you need. It's been 5 weeks now and it's going well, but I still struggle to limit myself to the shopping list at the supermarket. I was inspired by the website/blog Planning with Kids, which has great child-friendly recipes as well as tips on meal planning. I don't use her planning tools, but designed my own to suit our lifestyle, incorporating a shopping list into a life and meal planner. (I only have one kid; she has five!) I list what we are doing each night, who is dropping off/picking up Lewis from childcare each day, who is cooking dinner and what is being cooked. I then note what needs to be bought for each meal in the shopping list section, where I have staple items pre-populated to save time. The meal planning is very useful for weeks like this, where I'm out for dinner twice and my partner is out once - so on those nights we can do simple dinners with Lewis, rather than our usual 'proper' dinners. I'm having eggs on toast with Lewis on Friday; Adrian is doing sausages (I don't let him cook meat when I'm home!).
Closely intertwined with step 1 is step 2: inventory of what you already have. I was amazed by what I found in the cupboards, fridge, and more recently the freezer! (I've been tackling one area per week.) The Simple Savings website and its $21 challenge was the inspiration for this one. The $21 challenge is where you try to survive for one week only spending $21 on food, and using up what you have in the pantry/fridge/freezer.
So for the last week we have been trying to not buy more food (after spending up relatively big for a family dinner party earlier in the week), and to make do with what we have. We've consequently had some really nice meals we wouldn't have thought of having otherwise:
We now meal plan around what we have in the fridge/cupboard that needs using up, as well as adding a few new recipes each week so as not to eat too boringly!
Oh, and we have started shopping for pantry and fridge staples at Aldi. It really is so much cheaper than Coles. Although their fruit and veg is a bit average, so I just get the super specials from there and head to the local fruit market for the rest.
I've already noticed the money in our joint account seems to be lasting longer. Yay!
Now I just need to cut down my personal spending... but that's another story.
The internet is fabulous if you plan to start being dollars savvy. From budgeting, to tips on saving money, to meal planning to savings plans - you'll find a website or blog to inspire and guide you on you money saving journey.
The first thing I started researching was meal planning and feeding the family on a budget. I have never planned meals and I'm a self-confessed supermarket junkie. I live 5 minutes from a shopping centre and end up at there most days. I go for one or two things I 'need' for dinner, then return home with a pram-basket full of goodies - many of which end up at the back of the cupboard, fridge or freezer, slowly going out of date.
So step 1 was meal planning - and consequently only buying what you need. It's been 5 weeks now and it's going well, but I still struggle to limit myself to the shopping list at the supermarket. I was inspired by the website/blog Planning with Kids, which has great child-friendly recipes as well as tips on meal planning. I don't use her planning tools, but designed my own to suit our lifestyle, incorporating a shopping list into a life and meal planner. (I only have one kid; she has five!) I list what we are doing each night, who is dropping off/picking up Lewis from childcare each day, who is cooking dinner and what is being cooked. I then note what needs to be bought for each meal in the shopping list section, where I have staple items pre-populated to save time. The meal planning is very useful for weeks like this, where I'm out for dinner twice and my partner is out once - so on those nights we can do simple dinners with Lewis, rather than our usual 'proper' dinners. I'm having eggs on toast with Lewis on Friday; Adrian is doing sausages (I don't let him cook meat when I'm home!).
Closely intertwined with step 1 is step 2: inventory of what you already have. I was amazed by what I found in the cupboards, fridge, and more recently the freezer! (I've been tackling one area per week.) The Simple Savings website and its $21 challenge was the inspiration for this one. The $21 challenge is where you try to survive for one week only spending $21 on food, and using up what you have in the pantry/fridge/freezer.
So for the last week we have been trying to not buy more food (after spending up relatively big for a family dinner party earlier in the week), and to make do with what we have. We've consequently had some really nice meals we wouldn't have thought of having otherwise:
- Pumpkin and lentil stew
- Pasta shells with peas, olives and some leftover marinated fetta
- When we ran out of bread I discovered a few more slices in the freezer. When that ran out I discovered avocado on crackers for breakfast. Just as nice!
- Flourless orange cake - I found some almond meal in the freezer, we had oranges from a weekend away, and eggs and sugar pantry. So delicious!
- Stewed rhubarb from the garden.
- Tacos to use up the leftover cheese and tomatoes we had.
We now meal plan around what we have in the fridge/cupboard that needs using up, as well as adding a few new recipes each week so as not to eat too boringly!
Oh, and we have started shopping for pantry and fridge staples at Aldi. It really is so much cheaper than Coles. Although their fruit and veg is a bit average, so I just get the super specials from there and head to the local fruit market for the rest.
I've already noticed the money in our joint account seems to be lasting longer. Yay!
Now I just need to cut down my personal spending... but that's another story.
6 weeks and a huge belly
We hit the 6 week mark today, and I must admit I'm starting to feel a little bit more confident. Although we had a miscarriage a few years back at 6 and a half weeks, so I'll feel even better once we get past that point. And I reckon by 8 weeks I'll be really confident and might even start telling people.
The reason I kind of need to start telling people is that it's likely they have already guessed because my belly is already HUGE! It's so not fair. The fat rolls have just piled on over the last 3 weeks, and just around my tummy. And it's more sticky-outy. With my first pregnancy I always looked a few months ahead of where I was, but this is quite ridiculous.
On the upside, I feel so much better this time around than with Lewis. I felt so nauseous from week 4 through to week 11 with him. I couldn't touch coffee, only wanted steamed vegies, and generally felt like shit. But this time, I feel practically normal. I'm still enjoying coffee (cutting down has been a killer) and wouldn't even know I was pregnant if it wasn't for the tiredness. But even the tiredness is better than last time. All very strange.
I went to the GP today to get all the referrals for ultrasounds, bloodtests, hospital etc. and asked for an early dating ultrasound, just so I can check all is well. I really don't think I can wait until 12 weeks - especially as I'm feeling so well. I've even been going to the bloody gym! Crazy stuff. Fingers crossed.
The reason I kind of need to start telling people is that it's likely they have already guessed because my belly is already HUGE! It's so not fair. The fat rolls have just piled on over the last 3 weeks, and just around my tummy. And it's more sticky-outy. With my first pregnancy I always looked a few months ahead of where I was, but this is quite ridiculous.
On the upside, I feel so much better this time around than with Lewis. I felt so nauseous from week 4 through to week 11 with him. I couldn't touch coffee, only wanted steamed vegies, and generally felt like shit. But this time, I feel practically normal. I'm still enjoying coffee (cutting down has been a killer) and wouldn't even know I was pregnant if it wasn't for the tiredness. But even the tiredness is better than last time. All very strange.
I went to the GP today to get all the referrals for ultrasounds, bloodtests, hospital etc. and asked for an early dating ultrasound, just so I can check all is well. I really don't think I can wait until 12 weeks - especially as I'm feeling so well. I've even been going to the bloody gym! Crazy stuff. Fingers crossed.
Second time around?
We decided that we would start trying for another bub when we were overseas in May. After 4 unsuccessful months, this month we may have a winner. I'm trying very hard not to get too excited, as we had two early miscarriages before Lewis and know how easy it is for things to go wrong.
My period was due this Tuesday and by last Friday I was beginning to get suspicious. My glands were up, I felt achey and terrible. But it didn't feel bad enough to be a flu. On Sunday I tried to drink a few beers, but they made me feel sick. So Monday morning I did a test and I couldn't believe my eyes when there was a line. In my previous pregnancies the hormones didn't show up until several days after my period was due, so I hope this is a good sign of a strong pregnancy.
It's now Friday (so I'm only 4 weeks, 4 days) and I've been obsessively doing pregnancy tests each day, hoping that the hormones are getting stronger. I can't really tell (silly me; different times of day and different brands of pregnancy tests!) but it appears to still be going okay. I don't feel sick, just very tired. And I just can't concentrate at work. Lucky it's now the weekend.
I think we'll relax if we make it to 7 weeks without losing this bub. The miscarriages I had were at 4.5 weeks and 6.5 weeks. Then we will get VERY excited. I think it will be ace for Lewis to have a sibling to hang out with. And as much as I whinged with the last pregnancy, I really enjoyed the time - it was kind of special.
Although the nausea wasn't that special, so hopefully I won't get it this time around!
My period was due this Tuesday and by last Friday I was beginning to get suspicious. My glands were up, I felt achey and terrible. But it didn't feel bad enough to be a flu. On Sunday I tried to drink a few beers, but they made me feel sick. So Monday morning I did a test and I couldn't believe my eyes when there was a line. In my previous pregnancies the hormones didn't show up until several days after my period was due, so I hope this is a good sign of a strong pregnancy.
It's now Friday (so I'm only 4 weeks, 4 days) and I've been obsessively doing pregnancy tests each day, hoping that the hormones are getting stronger. I can't really tell (silly me; different times of day and different brands of pregnancy tests!) but it appears to still be going okay. I don't feel sick, just very tired. And I just can't concentrate at work. Lucky it's now the weekend.
I think we'll relax if we make it to 7 weeks without losing this bub. The miscarriages I had were at 4.5 weeks and 6.5 weeks. Then we will get VERY excited. I think it will be ace for Lewis to have a sibling to hang out with. And as much as I whinged with the last pregnancy, I really enjoyed the time - it was kind of special.
Although the nausea wasn't that special, so hopefully I won't get it this time around!
Coffee snob
I'm a self-confessed coffee snob and most days venture out with Lewis to grab one. I usually walk, so thought I would compile my list of favourite cafes within walking distance, with comments on how baby friendly they are!
Baby Love - the 'bible'!
I was around 6 months pregnant when I bumped into an old work colleague who had a 6 month old baby. She told me that motherhood was ace but I had to remember one thing - buy Baby Love. She told me it's the baby bible.
So next time I was at the library I borrowed a copy, and had a bit of a read. It looked very helpful, but I wasn't willing to buy a copy at that stage.
However, once Lewis came along, and I realised I couldn't live without it (and couldn't have the library copy on loan permanently), so I bought myself a copy and also bought it as a gift for 2 pregnant friends.
Since then, other friends with babies all use it as the main reference point for baby-related questions. "Have you checked the bible?" is a common question in my mothers group.
I think it's pretty interesting, considering the internet has meant to have superseded books...
So next time I was at the library I borrowed a copy, and had a bit of a read. It looked very helpful, but I wasn't willing to buy a copy at that stage.
However, once Lewis came along, and I realised I couldn't live without it (and couldn't have the library copy on loan permanently), so I bought myself a copy and also bought it as a gift for 2 pregnant friends.
Since then, other friends with babies all use it as the main reference point for baby-related questions. "Have you checked the bible?" is a common question in my mothers group.
I think it's pretty interesting, considering the internet has meant to have superseded books...
Not all of us are "Mumpreneurs"
I used to get sick of reading about "Yummy-Mummies". The weekend papers were always full of articles about mothers who looked good, went for lattes and managed their households with ease. Since becoming a mother I've found that Yummy-Mummies don't seem to exist, at least not in my suburb, or in the parenting magazines that I read (and I read all of them!).
Losing that weight post-baby
I thought I was one of the lucky ones as I didn't put on too much weight while pregnant. Maybe 10kg but most of that was baby. I exercised throughout the pregnancy and didn't eat too much junk. After Lewis was born and I started breastfeeding (with great difficulty, but that's another story) the weight just dropped off me. I remember thinking "this is easy" and wondering why my Mum had so much trouble with her weight after having us.
My pregnancy in photos
Early days. Around 2 months pregnant...
Hanging with Adrian and the cat at Hanover Street:
Not bored, just...
Lewis is nearly 10 months old and I have exactly 4 weeks left of maternity leave. I'm half dreading, half looking forward to returning to work. It's only part-time so I'm sure it'll be fine. It will be nice to use my brain again. I'm just not looking forward to the stress factor.
I have thoroughly enjoyed my 11 months off so far and feel incredibly lucky to have been able to spend so much quality time with Lewis, and get paid for it (my work has excellent maternity pay). My lifestyle is incredibly lazy at the moment and has been for the last 4-5 months.
I have thoroughly enjoyed my 11 months off so far and feel incredibly lucky to have been able to spend so much quality time with Lewis, and get paid for it (my work has excellent maternity pay). My lifestyle is incredibly lazy at the moment and has been for the last 4-5 months.
Travel tips- overseas!
I'm currently sitting by the pool at a villa in Provence, France. It's lovely and warm and actually quiet! Adrian has taken Lewis off somewhere and all the other babies are out for the afternoon. This is the final week of our three week Europe adventure with a 8/9 month old baby. We thought it would be a walk in the park. How wrong we were!
Thank goodness for lactose-free formula!
Poor old Lewis had diarrhea for nearly a week recently, then I remembered back to the last bout of diarrhea that just wouldn't clear up. The doctor recommend giving him lactose-free formula for a few days to help clear it up. It worked a treat and then he went back onto normal formula.
But this time every time I tried to give him normal formula, the diarrhea would return immediately, and it had a horrid smell. So I suspected lactose intolerance. The GP agreed it sounded like lactose intolerance and referred us to a paediatrician, who confirmed this. Apparently it's fairly common for babies to develop lactose intolerance after an illness, and it's only likely to last until he's 13-14 months old.
Luckily, he likes the lactose-free milk, and can still eat yoghurt and cheese in small amounts without it upsetting his tummy.
But this time every time I tried to give him normal formula, the diarrhea would return immediately, and it had a horrid smell. So I suspected lactose intolerance. The GP agreed it sounded like lactose intolerance and referred us to a paediatrician, who confirmed this. Apparently it's fairly common for babies to develop lactose intolerance after an illness, and it's only likely to last until he's 13-14 months old.
Luckily, he likes the lactose-free milk, and can still eat yoghurt and cheese in small amounts without it upsetting his tummy.
Countdown to the overseas trip... one week to go!
I never thought I'd be the sort of mother who would consider sedating her child. However, I sent the boyfriend off to the doctor to get a precription for Phenergen last week. We are flying to London next weekend and while I'm sure our 8 month old will sleep happily for the first leg of the journey, it's the second leg I'm concerned about! Lewis is crawling and is a very active child - he doesn't like to be constrained! How on earth we are going to keep him in a bassinet or on our laps for 22 hours is beyond me!
Recipes ideas for 6-12 month olds
Here are some recipes that are quick to make and nutritious! I recommend making a large batch and freezing in ice-cube trays or meal-sized containers. These are tried and tested on my 7 month old baby.
I don't believe in over-pureeing - a quick whiz with a stick blender should do it. Lumps are good - it teaches them to move onto more solid foods. I supplement these 'mushy' foods with steamed vegies and cheese that my baby feeds to himself. He loves it! He also loves toast. I list these finger food ideas below too.
Good pregnancy websites and books
I thought I'd give you a quick run down of the books and websites I found useful when pregnant.
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