Overdue and what happened next

Week 40

My due date comes and goes and I’m bombarded with texts, calls and emails wishing me well and asking if anything has happened yet. I put my phone on silent and go for a long walk with the hope of moving things along.

I have a midwife appointment and she does a stretch and sweep, which could bring on labour.  She says that my cervix is short and soft, a sign that things could start happening soon. I’m disappointed to not feel much afterwards. I also have two more acupuncture sessions with no result.

Week 41

I didn’t expect to still be pregnant at this stage, but two good things come of it: I’m able to attend my best friend’s father’s funeral, and I also get to go to my friend’s wedding. I hit the dance floor at the wedding hoping it will bring on labour, but nothing happens.

On Monday I go to the hospital for a foetal assessment, where they put a monitor on my belly and observe the baby’s heartbeat for an hour. It’s all okay, which is a relief.

The next day I have an appointment with a senior obstetrician. He is an hour late, and then takes a private phone call when I’m in with him. He is abrupt and says he wants to book me in for induction without even examining me. I have to ask to be examined and insist on another stretch and sweep. He says that my cervix is long and closed and says that the midwife’s diagnosis was wrong. He books me in for an induction in two days and explains all the possible side effects. I sign a form saying I understand the risks. I leave the appointment and burst into tears. I really wanted to go into labour naturally and thought things were moving in the right direction.

My mum picks us up early on Thursday and drives us to the hospital. We check in at 7am and there is a long wait until I see a nurse at 9am who applies prostaglandin gel. There is a long wait until the next check, so mum and I head down to the waiting area with a pile of magazines and Adrian heads into uni for a few hours. At 3pm another dose of the gel is applied, and by 4.30pm I’m being sent to a room for the night. The nurses don’t expect anything to happen until the morning when they will break my waters. Mum heads home and Adrian helps me settle into the room.

I start getting pains soon after and don’t feel well at all. I go and have a shower but end up doubled over in pain. My dad decides to pop in for a visit and I have to ask him to leave. I get Adrian to attach the TENS machine but it seems to make the pain worse. I buzz for a nurse and tell her I think I’m in labour. She runs off to organise a wheel chair, call my midwife back (she had just been to see me) and get us a birthing suite.

The contractions are very close together – a minute to 90 seconds apart – right from the start, which I was told was a possible side effect of being induced. The pain is excruciating and I can’t get comfortable. To get through the contractions I keep trying the TENS machine, but find hitting something with my hand (my head, the bed, the wall) to be more effective. I also try the gas but can’t get the hang of it.  At some stage a doctor comes in and breaks my waters. The baby’s heart is being monitored throughout the whole thing, which makes it hard to move around and change positions. The monitor keeps falling off. After about 4 hours of contractions I ask for an epidural, but my midwife tells me it’s nearly time to push. Pushing is good as it’s an outlet for the pain, but the baby just won’t come out.

Over the next hour a few different doctors come in and are concerned that the baby’s heart rate is dropping slightly. It’s finally decided that I will go into surgery, where they will try forceps, and if that doesn’t work, will do a caesar. By this stage I’m excited by the idea of a spinal block and can’t wait to sign on the dotted line. The anaesthetist is explaining the procedure when he gets a page and runs out of the room. Apparently there is an life or death situation and all available doctors are called into surgery.

I have to wait for over two hours until I can get into surgery. I’m still getting contractions every minute and am in agony. The midwife tells me not to push, but it’s the only thing that can take the pain away. There aren’t even any doctors around to administer the drug that slows contractions.

Once I’m in surgery the nurses and doctors are great. The anaesthetist inserts the spinal block and I want to kiss him. It’s so amazing to have no pain. They try the forceps but can’t get the baby out; he is stuck in a strange position. The team then preps me for surgery. They have a lot of trouble getting my baby out. He is big and has descended too far from all the pushing. After lots of tugging they finally pull it out and the doctor says in her Irish accent, it’s a “beautiful big baby boy”. He looks gorgeous and I’m so relieved he is okay. I don’t get to hold him and he is whipped off to the side of the room to the waiting paediatrician. Adrian goes with the baby.

The next hour is a bit of a blur. I haemorrhage while they are trying to sew me back together. At one stage I’m freezing cold and start flapping around on the table. They stop working on me and put a heat pack over me. The doctors sound concerned and ask for Adrian to be escorted from the room. I’m so worried I’m going to die and never see my baby boy. Thankfully the doctors work their stuff and I’m okay. An hour later I’m out in recovery and I can finally meet my boy. The midwife takes him out of the humidy crib and puts him on my chest. He doesn’t seem to know what to do so we put him on my breast but he doesn’t suck. The midwife says that it’s probably because he has gone through a traumatic birth too.

Back at the room Adrian and I stare at our beautiful boy asleep in the bassinet. We pull out the list of baby names and it’s easy to decide to call him Lewis Fox.  We have both really liked the name Lewis for ages, and Fox just seems to fit. We doze until 7am when we start calling family to tell them the good news.

Third trimester diary

And the final instalment of my pregnancy diary...

Week 27

The hospital sends me a letter to say that my iron stores are really low and that I have to take iron supplements.  This isn’t too much of a surprise as I’m vegetarian and I know low iron levels are quite common in pregnancy. I’m not actually feeling too tired anyway. I make sure that I take my iron tablets at night, so there is no caffeine in my system (I’m back on one coffee a day) and make sure I eat lots of green vegies. Luckily I’ve been craving brussels sprouts… strange but true!

Week 28

I decide I have had enough of being blonde and have an appointment to get my hair changed back to brown.  I’m just too lazy to get the roots done as regularly as they need. It’s nice to be back to my normal self.

On Friday night Adrian and I meet at the hospital to go to our first childbirth education class.  I’m very excited as it makes everything feel more real, and the other ten or so ‘couples’ also seem very excited. The midwife taking the class is funny and we learn all about pain relief. I decide that ideally I would like to go for a drug free birth, but I’m happy to give the gas a go and won’t feel too bad if I need to ask for an epidural. I also think the TENS machine sounds good and book in for the special TENS class.

The next day I do a shift at PBS FM radio station for their radio festival. It’s great fun talking babies with the other volunteers when the phones aren’t busy.

Week 29

The second childbirth class is more relaxed. We watch a video about breastfeeding and practice the different holds with dolls. The doll I end up with is tiny – my tummy is pretty big and I reckon my real baby will be triple the size! At the end of the class we have a tour of the hospital and see the birthing suites, which are big and new and have a nice vibe.

This week I start researching modern cloth nappies. The hundreds of websites are confusing so I go along to a shop that stocks a good range of nappies, and the lady explains all the differences. I buy a few different brands to try. They are all so cute - I love the bright colours.

Week 30

I have another midwife appointment this week and express my concern about the size of the baby. I feel huge and people keep commenting that I must be due any day- I’m starting to get a complex. My midwife says I’m measuring a few centimetres bigger than expected, and books me in to see a doctor the following week to get their opinion.

Work is crazy busy and I’m counting down the days until maternity leave. Only 6 more weeks! I struggle to walk from the car to work (about 500 metres) due to my sore ankles, feet, legs, back etc. I book in for an osteopath appointment hoping that will help. I’m thankful I’m doing Preggi Bellies exercise classes, as they are mostly on a fitball and I can do the moves without any pain. If it wasn’t for this I’d be doing no exercise and would be even bigger than I already am.

Week 31

I see the obstetrician about the size of the baby. She is quite a new doctor (and young) and is not too sure what to do. After checking with colleagues she refers me get an ultrasound the following week.

We head away with a group of about 20 friends for the Queen’s Birthday Weekend to Queenscliff, where we all stay in an old guesthouse. I am overly hormonal  and tired, and don’t really enjoy myself. On the last day I end up sobbing hysterically. Dealing with so many people and kids is just too much. I keep thinking our holidays were so much more fun in the old days, without kids and with lots of alcohol!

Week 32

This week I have the ultrasound to check the baby’s size. The technician tells me it looks to be 75^th percentile, so not as massive as I thought. She said I have a lot of fluid, which could explain my size.

The next day I take the afternoon off work to attend a breastfeeding class at the hospital. The class is fantastic – I intend to breastfeed but had no idea that the babies found the nipple all on their own (they showed an amazing video), and that you are not meant to wash the baby or your boob area for the first day, so that the familiar smells are there for the baby. I leave the class more pro-breastfeeding than before.

Week 33

This week it’s another obstetrician appointment to go over the ultrasound results. The doctor I see this week is an eccentric older man. He tells me that the size of the baby doesn’t necessarily impact whether or not you can birth naturally, so we just have to wait and see. I’m a bit annoyed I’ve gone through three weeks of appointments to check the size for no reason. I also have a midwife appointment this week; the appointments are getting more regular now. As usual, my blood pressure and the baby’s heartbeat are all good.

It’s a fun weekend. On Saturday night we head to a friend’s 30^th birthday at a French restaurant, and the next day we go to the Community Cup, a charity football match. It’s nice to be out and about.

Week 34

This week we go to the TENS class. Adrian nearly electrocutes me when we practice with the machine, but I decide to hire a kit and give it a go. I’d like to avoid drugs if at all possible.

I take the Thursday and Friday off work and we go on a four-hour road trip to the country to visit my Aunt and Uncle.  Both sets of parents are panicking that I’ll go into labour while we are away, but I figure if it happens we’ll work it out. I have the feeling that I’m going to deliver late rather than early. We spend the car trip going through our very long list of possible names. We have 40 boy and 40 girl names we like, but we get it down to ten of each.

Week 35

My last day of work is stressful as I try to finish off a major project and do handover with my replacement, but there is a nice morning tea and I’m given lots of lovely gifts. The next day I have an afternoon tea with a small group of my female friends. It’s my “I can’t believe it’s not a baby shower” party. No gifts or games are allowed.  I didn’t want a formal baby shower, but wanted a small celebration. There’s lots of cake, scones, tea – and champagne for the non-pregnant ladies.

Week 36

I have planned an extravagant maternity leave as I want my last days as a free woman to be as fun as possible. First activity is a night at the Grand Hyatt. Adrian and I enjoy a night out in town, and later hang out in plush bathrobes and watch movies.

The next day is yet another midwife appointment. The baby is head down, which is good, but she’s not sure if it’s engaged. She goes through what to do if I go into labour or my waters break. I’m a bit nervous I won’t know what to do.

On the weekend we have another afternoon tea, this time with both our families and some family friends. It’s another lovely afternoon eating cake.

Week 37

This week’s outing is dinner at the Press Club. We have the eight-course degustation menu and it’s delicious. I get quite a few stares from people in the restaurant, as I’m so big I look like I could pop the baby out any minute!

I start waking in the middle of the night for no reason and feel wide awake. I figure it’s my body getting me ready for all the night feeds. I also have terrible heartburn and have started getting stretch marks on my tummy. I have been religiously applying stretch mark cream every day so am annoyed they have appeared. My tummy is also very itchy, and the only thing that stops the itching is applying an ice pack to the area.

Week 38

I borrow a library book called Birth Skills by Juju Sundin and Sarah Murdoch and it’s very inspiring.  After reading it I feel mentally prepared for a relaxed, drug free labour. I have a midwife appointment and she still doesn’t think the head is engaged. I head for an osteopath appointment, as I’m getting so big I can barely walk, and keep getting a shooting pain in my groin area. I take myself out each day to a different café, as I figure it will be hard to do once the baby arrives. The baby’s room is now all ready and I’ve bought everything I need.

Week 39

On Saturday night I go to my friend’s Hens Night. I’m not sure if I’ll make the wedding next week, so it’s a great chance to wish her well. I’m relieved it’s a civilised dinner and I’m home in bed nice and early.

I have an acupuncture appointment with the hope that it will get things moving. The needles are uncomfortable but don’t hurt. I’m disappointed that nothing happens, but the therapist said it might take a few sessions. I also buy some raspberry leaf tea and add lots of chilli to our dinner. I’m so uncomfortable I really want this baby out!

No, I'm not having twins!

It started quite early, about 20 weeks I reckon. The questions started. "So when are you due?" When I would say in another 4 months they would look at my belly in horror. Even people who ought to know better, such as a professor at work, took it upon themselves to tell me how enormous I was. All I could do was smile and say, yes, I am quite large.

The second trimester diary

This is more of my pregnancy diary (well an extract anyway)...

Week 14

Adrian’s grandmother passes away.  Despite having never met her I am overly emotional and sob throughout the service. I’m embarrassed but figure I can blame it on my ever-expanding bump. I rush from the drinks afterwards to a house inspection. The agent clearly likes babies as she offered me a private viewing after I explained that I was 3 months pregnant. The house is perfect and the agent seems to like me – and my bump!

Week 15

We got it! The house is ours, but we have move in 2 weeks. Luckily my current landlord is fine with this. Everything is happening so quickly, and organising a move is exhausting. Moving house is hard enough without being pregnant.

Week 16

Moving day. It’s nice not to have to help lift heavy items, but even carrying the smaller things is killing me. It’s hot and my feet are swollen and sore. Our mates come over for pizza to celebrate and I sit with my feet up with frozen peas on my ankles!

Later in the week I (finally) have my first hospital appointment. I’m going to a public hospital a short tram ride from work. At this first visit I see a doctor, followed by a midwife. The doctor is quite abrupt and the appointment feels rushed, but luckily the midwife is lovely and explains everything really well.  In the waiting room I get signed up for a trial program where you get to see the same midwife for the whole pregnancy and hopefully the birth too. I’m thrilled.

Week 17

I’m not even half way yet but I’m getting really big and people keep asking me when I’m due. I decide it’s time to ditch the belly belt and actually buy some proper maternity clothes.  I find a maternity factory outlet store and get some bargains (including some Harry-high pants – see photo), then buy a few things at Target and Kmart. It’s much cheaper than the maternity stores, and some things are actually really nice I also find that Target has some great long tops that cover my bump despite not being labelled maternity. I buy five!

Week 18

A fairly quiet week, but I head out on Friday night to see Mamma Mia the musical with my best mate and both our Mums. It’s great fun. I’m starting to really enjoy being pregnant. I’m feeling pretty good – apart from the sore ankles - and think maybe I have that pregnancy glow that people talk about.

Week 19

Music festival number 2! This time I don’t feel sick and I look pregnant. Lots of people stop to chat about pregnancy and babies. I still have really sore ankles so struggle to stand up to watch the bands. I retreat to the top of the hill with my camping chair and some magazines and listen from afar.

Week 20

We have the 20-week scan at the hospital. Unfortunately it’s in a dodgy room where I can’t see the screen and they can’t record or take photos. However, bub is still looking healthy and that’s all that matters.  Adrian doesn’t want to know the sex, so I agree not to find out for this baby. I plan get my way for the next one.

Week 21

My friends hold a cocktail party at their house and I struggle to find something to wear. Luckily a black work dress looks okay without the belt. I’m feeling big and not very attractive at the moment - and I’m only half way! There are two other pregnant friends at the party and we all fight over the seats. I never knew that sore ankles and feet were a side effect of pregnancy… there are so many things they don’t tell you.

Week 22

This week I have my first appointment with my allocated midwife, who I will be seeing for the rest of the pregnancy. She will be there for the birth too. I’m not too sure if we really click; she’s nice enough, but we don’t seem to be able to communicate well. I decide to give her another go before pulling out of the midwife program.

Week 23

It’s Easter and we head up to Noosa for our ‘babymoon’. We’ve hired an apartment in the heart of Noosa and it’s a literal 2-minute walk to the beach, as well as restaurants and cafes. The weather is perfect. Adrian surfs and I swim everyday. I also book in for a pregnancy massage, which is so good I go back for another one the next day! It really helps my sore ankles, so we can actually go for a walk in the national park.

Week 24

Back at work I’m shocked to hear that a colleague went into early labour and had her baby while I was away.  She was only 25 weeks pregnant. I feel so bad for her, but am pleased to hear her baby is doing well in hospital, where he will stay for another 3 months.  It makes me think that I’d better start getting organised for my baby’s arrival – just in case it decides to come early too. We buy a cot on sale and I start to buy a few more baby clothes.  I also put my unborn baby down on about ten childcare waiting lists. There is a childcare shortage in my area and the earlier you get your name down, the better.

We have a low-key housewarming party and lots of friends bring over hand-me-downs for the baby. There is so much stuff that I’m a bit overwhelmed. I put it in the shed and decide to sort it all out later. By 1am I’m exhausted. One friend is particularly drunk and wants to have a deep and meaningful which I just can’t cope with. I go to my room and burst into tears. At 2am Adrian finally kicks out the last few guests. I used to be a party animal. What happened?

Week 25

I go to a family friend’s baby shower. During the gift opening I’m shocked by the expensive and extravagant gifts, and I feel a bit embarrassed by the Bonds outfit I bought her. But she seems to like it and the afternoon is actually quite fun. Lots of cake and I win a jar of chicco babies!

The next day is mother’s day, and my baby (also known as Adrian) has written me a lovely card and bought me a great pair of socks. A lovely first mother’s day.

Week 26

Another appointment with my midwife this week, and I decide that I can live with her, despite her being a bit odd. After the appointment I have a blood test to check my iron levels and drink the super sweet drink so they can check for diabetes. I was expecting the drink to taste awful, but it just tastes like flat lemonade.

Pregnant! First trimester diary

This is an extract of my diary, some of which was recently published in Practical Parenting magazine!

Week 4

The line on the test is weak, but it’s there. I break the news to Adrian and he reacts like me: more apprehensive than excited. We have lost our last two pregnancies quite early on and don’t want to get our hopes up. I don’t think we could go through another miscarriage.

Week 5

I’m thrilled when I start to feel nauseas at my work Christmas party.  This didn’t happen with the last two and I figure it’s a good sign the hormones have kicked in. We still don’t give this baby a nickname; we don’t want to jinx it. We tell immediate family but swear them to secrecy for the moment.

Week 6

My tummy is already expanding (I figure it must be extra fluids) and my boss guesses that I’m pregnant and spills the beans to a few colleagues. I’m worried about people knowing, just in case it goes wrong again, but I’m feeling so sick I’m starting to feel more confident. I collapse into bed at the end of each workday; I’ve never felt so tired. Adrian has to wake me for dinner. All I can stomach is steamed vegies and a few spoonfuls of ice cream. The ice cream seems to help the nausea - for a few minutes anyway.

Week 7

Off to Meredith Music Festival! I discover that festivals aren’t as fun without alcohol, but it’s nice to have an excuse to go to bed early. It’s easy to disguise my lack of drinking with a stubby holder… although I’m annoyed in the morning that my nausea closely resembles a hangover!

Week 8

Nearly Christmas and I’m looking forward to having a break from work and all the Chrissy functions. I’m getting sick of saying no to champagne and yummy cheeses.  It’s a busy time at work and I’m really struggling to stay on top of everything. Normally I’d drink coffee to keep me focused, but the thought of coffee repulses me, so I stick with milky tea.

Week 9

Christmas! Christmas day is exhausting. We have to go to three different family functions all over town and I just don’t have the stamina I used to.  I also struggle to eat the mountains of rich food. All I’m craving is healthy vegetables.  I fall into bed at 10pm, swearing that next year we are only doing one thing. Adrian points out that with a baby it will probably be worse.

Week 10

We head down to the beach for the annual family get-together. I struggle to enjoy myself as much as usual; it’s really hard not drinking and eating soft cheese, the two main things I normally do at the beach house.  I’m still feeling the nausea and am a bit more emotional than usual. New Years Eve is even more of a struggle. I’m counting down the hours until midnight so I can go to bed. Luckily there are two other pregnant friends to keep me company. We get stuck into the cake and sneak off to bed after wishing everyone a happy new year.

Week 11

Back to work – at least it’s quiet. My 34^th birthday is on Thursday and I go out with a few friends to Moonlight Cinema. I’ve told most of my close friends now, and they are all really excited. My nausea has nearly gone now and I can actually enjoy myself.

On Sunday we go to a rally at the closing down of our favourite pub, The Tote. I’m devastated it’s closing; Adrian and I see bands there all the time, and it’s where we had our first kiss.

Week 12

Finally - 12 week scan time! I’m still certain that something will be wrong, but up there on the screen is a little baby, who looks healthy (and a bit like a tadpole!). It jumps around to impress us. After getting the all clear, we tell the few remaining people who don’t know we are pregnant.  My grandfather is very excited!

Week 13

My friend and I go maternity clothes shopping. I’m a bit dismayed by the range available – and the extreme prices. I buy a pair of jeans and a dress, and decide to try to make-do with my normal clothes for a while using a belly belt.

An extreme heatwave makes me seriously reconsider our apartment – which is tiny and lacks air conditioning. Our place is too small for a baby anyway, so why postpone the inevitable?